2021 is, in its own surreal way, drawing to a close. The third anniversary of this blog recently passed, and the second anniversary of my agenting career is crawling closer. Looking back at my very first year-in-review post on Books Beyond Binaries in 2018, it’s hard to believe how much has changed for the world and for me personally. It is with a heavy heart that I share this year’s reading statistics, and the resulting conclusion that I’ve come to, after thinking about all of this data for a while… it’s time for a break.
Grief is a very difficult emotion for me. I remember realizing how bad I am at processing it back in my undergrad, when I was taking a Life Stages course as part of my first social work degree. I have trouble wrapping my head around loss, and my ability to digest grief without being completely consumed by it is really limited and complicated. This year has been a lot of loss. We had to say goodbye to Boom, the dog who loved me more and better than anyone ever has or ever will, back in September after a sudden, traumatizing accident. Shortly thereafter, one of my clients passed away completely unexpectedly, leaving behind her spouse, three children, her elderly parents, and shocked friends and colleagues. More recently, an ex of my partner lost their life as well. And those are just the obvious, normative sources of grief this year, never mind all the more ethereal causes that are harder to articulate.
Then there’s the weight of my words. Back in 2018, I was a bookseller with a couple of years’ experience under my belt, and an avid reader. Maybe I had interesting things to say, but they weren’t of much consequence back then. Now, I feel the heft of every syllable I say or post publicly, as a gatekeeping figure in the publishing industry… and it’s something that causes me confusion, anxiety, and dread, among lots and lots of other feelings.
All of this to say… there are things that are giving me a lot of joy in this world, and for now, I need to focus on those. I’m not sure what the future of this platform will be, except to say that I am deeply humbled and so grateful for the more than 700 people who visit this site every month! I hope that you’ll continue to tune in when good opportunities come up for sporadic posts over the next 12 months. Otherwise, 2022 will (I hope) be a year of rest and restoration for me, and for Books Beyond Binaries and its other contributors – and for all of you.
How many books I read in 2017: 41 How many books I read in 2018: 57 How many books I read in 2019: 124 How many books I read in 2020: 99 How many books I read in 2021: 44 (yeah – I know.)
½ Star Books: 0 One Books: 0 One ½ Star Books: 0 Two Star Books: 1 Two ½ Star Books: 0 Three Star Books: 2 Three ½ Star Books: 8 Four Star Books: 12 Four ½ Star Books: 7 Five Star Books: 13
In 2022, while I’m away from this space, please feel free to check back periodically, because who knows? Maybe there will be some surprise posts! But in the meantime, you can always catch me on Twitter (where my DMs are usually open!), I will continue to track my reading progress on Goodreads, or you can check out my freshly updated agenting website. In the meantime, stay safe out there, and thank you so much for your support these last three years!
I’m sort of in disbelief that I’m writing this post to celebrate the end of 2020, and the second anniversary of Books Beyond Binaries! If you are reading this post: congratulations, yall. We made it.
This one’s a big one! First, I’m going to throw out a bunch of resources on the best books that I can recommend going into 2021, I want to talk a bit about how you can support the blog going into 2021, I’m going to do my customary review of my own #2020Reading (which you can see snippets of on Twitter), AND last but not least, scroll on down to the end of this post, because I do have a review for today, from Jack! Jack read and gives her thoughts on one of 2020’s most lauded LGBTQ2S+ titles of the year – Luster, by Raven Leilani.
Alright, folks. In this section, I have included links to a couple of different roundups of non-binary and trans books that have been posted recently. There are a few other resources that I would absolutely encourage you to check out as you do your holiday shopping or consider what to add to your TBR for the new year. First, a friend of mine and member of the Rogue Book Coven (my online book community), Sarah Cuddie, does this impressive data gathering project annually where she takes the “Best Of” lists from that year, and creates a GINORMOUS master “Best Of”. Obviously, the 2020 list is still in progress, but the Best Books of 2019 BIG Roundup is available and super interesting – especially for spreadsheet nerds like me.
I also always want to recommend the Another Story Holiday Gift List. Compiled by the best indie booksellers I know at the bookshop where I worked in the Before Times (aka, until the pandemic made it too dangerous for me), this list is the active staff’s favourite books of 2020! If you decide to buy from this list, please patronize your local indie. If you don’t have one, check out Bookshop.org if you’re in the US, or McNally Robinson in Canada (who offer $5 shipping all over the country).
Last but not least, I want to announce that there is a new trans book blog that you will love if you love this blog. It’s called Oceans of Novels, and it’s run by the creator of the Transathon book challenge! Welcome to the blogosphere, Ocean!
my heart is very happy to see how many YA/MG books by and about trans/non-binary/genderqueer folx are coming out in 2021 ✨🖤
but this pic is not an exhaustive list!
please, I want to hear about them ALL! drop me a shout or link to others you know of below!! pic.twitter.com/9rKbAeyj5x
Especially over the course of this tumultuous year, Books Beyond Binaries has been a space of safety and freedom for me, and I hope that I’ve curated content that has felt that way for all of our readers! Over the course of 2020, I really didn’t have the capacity to keep an eye on the performance stats for Books Beyond Binaries, but recently I took a peek, and on average this year, we are getting about 720 page views per month! I’m so proud.
If you are one of those approximately 8600 reads this year, and would like to support us, there are a couple of ways that you can do that! You can make a small donation through my ko-fi, or you can purchase my editorial services for yourself or for another writer in your life! Money received through these channels helps pay for the domain, hosting, artwork, and books that you see featured on Books Beyond Binaries! And what will that mean going into 2021? Well…
I won’t give away our secrets, but of course it means more guest posts from rad authors, more artwork commissioned from LGBTQ2S+ artists, more book reviews from Jack and CeCe Lyra, and it means that BBB can continue to support emerging non-binary literary content creators like Santana Reads and reddietoread! WOW a lot has happened since I created this space. Happy anniversary, blog supporters. I’m so honoured you’re sharing this with us.
This Year Did Not Go As Planned
Me in 2020, wearing a mask from the Canadian Children’s Book Centre, featuring art by Gabrielle Grimard, author and illustrator.
…dramatic understatement, I know. And honestly, I don’t know if I have it in me to write a big personal blog post about my experience of the pandemic, or even of the last 12 months of my own life. So much has happened, personally and professionally, that it would be difficult for me to capture in a way that would feel safe and interesting in this kind of forum. In summary, I will say that I feel incredibly lucky on an individual level to have been able to stay healthy and safe this year, and to have stable housing and employment (even if it’s less than it used to be).
In my professional life, I am so honoured to have been able to spend this year building my list of authors as a literary agent, and to have been offered a dream position with Westwood Creative Artists. The #SpineSquad are an incredible group of creators who I am in awe of every day, and who I feel so lucky to be able to support in their work. Although some of the contracts are still being finalized, and announcements being prepared, I am super proud to have sold 11 books (including three audio deals) since February. Those that you can check out immediately are: The Hollow Gods, by A. J. Vrana, and Maiden Leap, by C. M. Harris… with many more to come.
How Agenting Changed My Reading – For Better and Worse
This year, my reading stats are very different from other years. This is in part because I haven’t been able to work at the indie book shop where I was employed in the Before Times because my partner is high risk for COVID, and the shop was unable to make accommodations that would keep us safe. I hope that that will be different in the future – I miss the shop with my whole heart – but for now, I’m part of the long-term self isolating crowd. We’ve been quarantined since mid-February… going on month 10 over here.
The biggest factor, though, has been my agenting work. Although I finished 99 books so far this year, about 2/3 of those were complete (unpublished) manuscripts that I read every word of with an editorial brain on as queries, freelance projects, assigned work from supervisors, or client work. Of the other books that I read, some were for my academic work, some were for research, and some were recreational books that I picked up because I just wanted to. I really have yet to find a way to strike a healthy balance between reading for work and reading for fun – and I’m aware it’s a problem, and working on it.
How many books I read in 2017: 41 How many books I read in 2018: 57 How many books I read in 2019: 124 How many books I read in 2020: 99
First book read: All Eyes on Her, Laurie Elizabeth Flynn Last book read (as of this post): I’ll Never Tell, Catherine McKenzie Average length: 302 pages
Books by POC: 20 POC MC: 18 Male authors: 25 Female authors: 81 Non-binary and/or trans authors: 14 Queer authors: 36 Queer MC: 38
Middle Grade: 9 YA: 28 Adult: 62 Graphic: 2 Short story or anthology: Non-fiction: 16 Memoir: 4 Lit Fic: 25 Poetry: 2 SFF: 26 Thriller: 19 Horror: 10
Purchases: 9 Library: 14 ARC: 12
Digital: 35 Print: 13 Audio: 1
½ Star Books: 0 ⭐️ Books: 0 ⭐️ ½ Books: 1 ⭐️⭐️ Books: 2 ⭐️⭐️ ½ Books: 0 ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Books: 12 ⭐️⭐️⭐️ ½ Books: 16 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Books: 31 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ½ Books: 13 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Books: 24
Currently reading (published, unfinished in 2020): The Sunset Sisters, by Cecilia Lyra; White is for Witching, by Helen Oyeyemi; Devotions, by Mary Oliver; The Deep, by Alma Katsu; Amanda Greenleaf, by Ed Kavanaugh; On This Day, by Dale Jarvis Favourite (published) books read this year: Riot Baby, by Toni Onyebuchi; Resilience is Futile, by Julie S. Lalonde; Love Notes, by Philip McKibbin
emmy’s Most Anticipated of Early 2021
Detransition, Baby, by Torrey Peters
In the Garden of Spite, by Camilla Bruce
The Bad Muslim Discount, by Syed M. Masood
We Are the Ashes, We Are the Fire, by Joy McCullough and Maia Kobabe
Loner, by Georgina Young
Kink, ed. by R. O. Kwan and Garth Greenwell
Let’s Get Back to the Party, by Zak Salih
Dark Horses, by Susan Mihalic
Spin With Me, by Amy Polonsky
Honey Girl, by Morgan Rogers
Some Other Now, by Sarah Everett
Jack’s Review of LUSTER, by Raven Leilani
Raven Leilani’s debut novel, Luster, is a rollercoaster. It’s not for the faint of heart. Leilani is an American writer and artist, with an MFA from NYU. In a NYT feature, Leilani mentions how surreal the release of Luster feels, during a pandemic that claimed her father’s life. Leilani also expands on Edie, explaining that “” she wanted to highlight a nonlinear artistic path, one that came in contact with the real world”.
Luster reads as a confessional, observational disclosure of Edie’s internal world. This book tells the story of Edie, an editorial assistant and artist. It’s about the awkward moments, it’s about being young, it’s about being human. Like most 23-year old’s, Edie seeks validation in her relationships and at her job. What starts off as an affair between Edie and Eric, a white man in an open marriage, mutates into the exploration of the dynamic in families, with Edie living with Eric’s wife and adopted daughter.
As a disillusioned painter, Edie begins to question everything: what makes somebody an artist? How do you maximize productivity and is genius contagious? What and how do you structure the hard work that makes one’s talents shine?
Content warnings include violence, racism, child loss/pregnancy and transracial adoption. I recommend this book to hopeless artists, Black Women, and to the dream chaser, who is being held down by reality. This is a perfect read for YA.
Leilani expertly articulates the tension one feels when survival requires a never- ending audition. Luster is about grounding oneself and how we become products of our experiences. Did Luster lure me in? Or did I recognize something I needed in it?
By avoiding writing, a “neatly moral character” (Leilani’s words), Luster reminds me of Dionne Brandt’s Theory. You are then invited into a world where you not only read and see characters, but you’re also invited to be them.
Luster is about the relational understanding of one-self in the context of the world. By exploring Black womanhood, personhood, and the complexity of being a human being and societal established dynamics, Luster spoke to me. I couldn’t walk away, I needed to know what was next, I needed to be with Edie as she moved through life, searching for affirmation and validation.
Leilani wrote about a Black Woman who is questioning everything.
Edie’s astute worldview conflicts with her poor communication skills. The reader is then strapped in their seat, aware of the aside but unable to disclose what they know. Reading Luster is like driving by a car accident, with Edie at the wheel.
When I first started this blog, one year ago, I wrote an introductory post, which gives a little bit of a window into what I’m about as far as my literary life is concerned. Because this blog and my reading in general is fairly politicized, and I believe that the personal is political, I’d like to offer a bit more information about myself that might give context to some of the 🔥hot takes🔥 that I post in this space.
Me! 2019.
These are the facts about me that my Twitter bio won’t tell you!
Although legally I have to, I don’t capitalize my name. It’s emmy!
I’ve been (as) vegan (as possible, depending on where I was living) for more than 20 years! That said, I am firmly in solidarity with Indigenous and other marginalized people who cannot or do not engage with that life – especially (but not limited to) the Indigenous people who sustain their communities through the seal hunt and the deer harvest at Short Hills.
I’m a social work researcher, mostly focusing on LGBTQ2S+ health, and wellbeing of working dogs in therapeutic environments. In my previous life, I went to college for circus arts, and spent nearly a decade performing and coaching at a professional level. My specialities were juggling and group acrobatics.
I grew up in Newfoundland, an island off the east coast of Canada, in the North Atlantic. The island is the occupied territory of the Innu, the Mi’kmaq, and the Beothuk, who were victims of genocide. My family in Newfoundland can be traced back at least 7 generations on the maternal side, and we are white colonizers. I was raised in a house with my mom, my grandmother, and my great-grandmother, just the four of us most of the time.
J’ai appris le français quand j’étais très jeune, et j’ai vécu la grosse majorité de ma vie l’en parlant comme langue principale, alors que je me considère comme francophone.
My hobbies, when I have the time and energy, include film photography, snail mail (I collect postcards), roller skating, embroidery, cooking, and recently I’ve started playing video games occasionally. Oh! I also like to read!
I share my life with a lot of pets! Right now, that includes living primarily with an eleven year old retired racing greyhound, two formerly feral maine coon cats, and one five month old (by the time this gets posted!) deaf Dalmatian puppy. Their names are Boom, Whisper, Willow, and Pavot (pronounced pav-oh, it’s French for “poppy”, as in poppyseed). You can find them on Insta!
I’m polyamorous and have two relationships with genderqueer trans folks. My partner lives in Toronto, and I have a theyfriend and Denver. I am questing for a word that accurately describes “polyamorous but in no way seeking new romantic relationships,” because my life is as populated as I can handle it being.
I have diagnosed psychiatric disabilities and chronic illness, both of which are hormone-related (PMDD, chronic major depression, general and social anxiety, and PCOS). It’s also likely that I am on the autism spectrum, and I have most of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder, although these are both more or less undiagnosed.
Other alphabet soup diagnoses that play a big role in my life through the people I love are PTSD and DID.
I have a very small social circle, and most of my close friends are relationships that I primarily nurture online, in large part because I have am neuroatypical and have a disorganized anxious attachment style.
I love bees and kākāpō, but I have a lot of favourite animals.
Recently, I have been trying to come up with the books that I would take with me if I was going to be indefinitely stranded on a desert island, and so far, I think they would be The House of the Spirits, by Isabel Allende; The Tea Dragon Festival, by Katie O’Neill; Pet, by Akwaeke Emezi; Our Homesick Songs, by Emma Hooper; Gingerbread, by Helen Oyeyemi; and Not Quite Narwhal, by Jessie Sima.
How many books I read in 2017: 41 How many books I read in 2018: 57 How many books I read in 2019: 124 First book read: One of Us is Lying, Karen McManus Last book read: Truly Madly Guilty, Liane Moriarty Average length: 287 pages
Books by POC: 52 POC MC: 43 Male authors: 33 Female authors: 160 Non-binary and/or trans authors: 5 Queer authors: 46 Queer MC: 45
Middle Grade: 18 YA: 74 Adult: 101 Graphic: 5 Short story or anthology: 1 Non-fiction: 37 Memoir: 9 Lit Fic: 55 Poetry: 3 SFF: 46 Thriller: 28 Horror: 18
Purchases: 26 Library: 60 ARC: 105
Digital: 108 Print: 50 Audio: 36
½ Star Books: 3 ⭐️ Books: 21 ⭐️ ½ Books: 0 ⭐️⭐️ Books: 27 ⭐️⭐️ ½ Books: 9 ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Books: 24 ⭐️⭐️⭐️ ½ Books: 28 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Books: 26 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ½ Books: 9 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Books: 41
Reading challenges I participated in: #VillainAThon
DNF: 68 Currently reading (unfinished in 2019): Keystone, Katie Delahanty; The Death of Mrs. Westaway, Ruth Ware; Amanda Greenleaf, Ed Kavanagh Favourite books of the year: Little Apocalypse, Katherine Sparrow; The Collected Schizophrenias, Esmé Weijun Wang; The Wise and the Wicked, Rebecca Podos; Wilder Girls, Rory Power; Pilu of the Woods, Mai K. Nguyen; Pet, Akwaeke Emezi; In the Dream House, Carmen Maria Machado; The Tea Dragon Festival, Katie O’Neill; The Darkest Part of the Forest, Holly Black; I Know You Remember, Jennifer Donaldson; Your House Will Pay, Steph Cha; We Unleash the Merciless Storm, Tehlor Kay Mejia; The Seep, Chana Porter Favourite picture books released this year (not otherwise included in stats above): My Footprints, Bao Yi; Stormy, by Guojing; No Room for a Pup, Laurel Molk and Liz Suneby; It Feels Good to Be Yourself, Theresa Thorn and Noah Grigni; King Mouse, Cary Fagan and Dena Seiferling; Princess Puffybottom… and Darryl, Susin Nielsen and Olivia Chen Mueller, Truman, Jean Reidy; Ping, Ani Castillo; The Cyclops Witch and the Heebie-Jeebies, Kyle Sullivan and Derek Sullivan, The Scarecrow, Beth Ferry and the Fan Brothers; The Rabbit Listened, Cori Doerrfeld
Upcoming in 2020
So far, I have three 2020 plans. First: to integrate the reading challenge that my online book community, the Rogue Book Coven, is hosting for next year! Just to be clear, I had no hand at all in creating this – but I’m really glad for the work of some of our other members, who put this majestic thing together. If you want to read along with us, find us on various social media platforms at #CovenBookChallenge throughout 2020! POI for anyone who decides to follow along: we use the octopus emoji (sometimes, gratuitously) to mean hugs!
Second, to my actual delight and pleasure, I recently joined the planning team for the Festival of Literary Diversity (FOLD), held in Brampton each May. As such, I’m looking forward to curating and participating in the FOLD reading challenge in 2020 as well. The challenges aren’t 100% finalized yet, but you can check out past challenges here.
Last but not least, following a tweet from Esmé Weijun Wang, I committed to reading two Big, Long, Old Russian Books. Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy, and The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. This is legitimately the challenge that I’m most worried about so… wish me luck?
This year I also read & reread Anna Karenina again & again & saw all the Levin portions anew. What a book.
Wondering what you can look forward to me chatting about next year? In January, I’m going to be previewing Karen McManus’ upcoming sequel to One of Us is Lying, the bestselling YA thriller, and chatting with author Chana Porter about gender and her Jewish Indigenous trans MC in The Seep, her unsettling and heartwarming dystopian alien invasion literary horror novel.
Some other Winter 2020 releases that I’m excited about reading? Non-binary Latinx author Anna-Marie McLemore’s new YA fantasy, Dark and Deepest Red, is a spooky modern fairy tale that spans generations. It drops on January 14th, and it’s right in my wheelhouse. I’m also looking forward to The Truants, by Kate Weinberg. It’s a thriller, and I’m curious to see if this NA is another millennial-appealing book in the vein of Such a Fun Age and Normal People, which I read earlier this year.
Kacen Callendar is the non-binary author of Hurricane Child, my favourite middle grade book of all time, and their next book, King and the Dragonflies, comes out this February. I’ll also definitely be checking out The Last Confessionof Autumn Casterly, by Meredith Tate. It’s a spooky YA thriller, and my own teenage heart is stoked that this book has a musical, geeky protag, as a former band geek myself.
There are two final February releases I’m hoping to get to. I’m all about fancy school dramas, and Privilege by Mary Adkins is a feminist NA that deals with themes around sexual assault on a college campus. Since the #MeToo movement began, books with similar themes have definitely become more visible, and I’m hoping that Privilege will have something unique to offer. Finally, with some skepticism, I’m eyeing A Woman Like Her: The Short Life of Qandeel Baloch. This is Sanam Maher’s debut book, however she works as a journalist in Karachi, Pakistan. Without knowing a great deal about Baloch’s story, I’m hoping that Maher will have handled her story with sensitivity and respect.
PS, if you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving me a tip! It only takes a minute, and it allows me to keep creating content just like this, buying food for my pets, and pursuing my career as a literary agent!
Books Beyond Binaries 